before we say goodbye.

Of life & all its perks.

Monday, November 12, 2012 11:09 AM

It's been a while since I last updated my blogspot.
Well, I reckon that no one even passes by here to read or bother to see "my last seen."
Funny how this blog bring a ton of memories,bittersweet ones.
This blog has watched me grow from a very young girl to what I am now.
If by anything,I always go back to this blog to remind me of who i was in the past & sometimes,jog my memories to not repeat my mistakes, or whatever that perceive from the yesteryears.

There's too much to rant & rave about what had happened over the past few years..
I can't seem to elaborate more without boring any of you people, those who are still reading anyways.
What I always remember to not forget is, when times are dark, god knows exactly where I am. And I always have him.

Choose your battles. Some things are way too petty to even sweat.

Life is simple really. Do not sweat the small stuff. I have so much more to attain in battling life battles.
But i guess it gets pretty easy when you got the hang of it.
Thing is, I am truly genuinely happy where i am right now, despite the struggles.
Till then.

There are days when nothing happens and there are also days that are packed with little moments that just overwhelm you.

I take you back to the stars.

Monday, September 26, 2011 1:56 PM

"We are masters of the unsaid words,but slaves of those we let slip out."

I missed updating this blog. I miss the serenity this blog brings me,

every little time I punched on the keyboards of my laptop. Brings me comfort each time.

This blog has also watched me grown. Sadly,I have overgrown it. Forgive me,blogspot.

Not in my means to neglect you over anything. Life,is what happened.

I sometimes don't have the time to myself,even such little quality time.

But here I am right now,in the amenity of my little room. Why hello September.

It has been ages since I last rejuvenated this dusty blog of mine. I'll never delete this blog.

The memorabilia of me & you,is etched in my heart & in this how many years blog of mine.

Each time I felt that I had to reminisced,I'll be here. Re-reading all my entries & reliving,

as if you're just right there with me still. Truth is,I miss you. I miss you a whole lot.

"I’ve learned that it isn’t enough to be forgiven by others.

Sometimes you just have to learn how to forgive yourself. "

If ever you happened to pass by here, This blog,it stayed for you. It's still here.

But I must be delusional. You'll never be here. Not even once will you read any of this.

I just want to tell you,"I am sorry. For everything. And that I still love you."

Always have,always will.

"I’ve learned that backgrounds and circumstances might have influenced who you are,

but we are responsible for the people we become."

blogging from the comfort of my workplace.

Monday, July 4, 2011 5:02 PM

"Whenever you feel like all the burdens are on your shoulder,
remember one thing: you are not alone, you're not the only one."

Hello you sweet little things. I'm currently blogging from the comfort of my workplace.
When there's nothing to do,so little things & i just had to blog. i miss ranting & raving.
Here I am again. Another new month to look forward to before Ramadhan. Insyallah.
It's already the 4th of July. I'm always bowl over how fast time flies.
Too fast to my liking,indeed. But it's something we have no control over now,do we?

But all we can do, is make the best out of it & make sure we don't miss on opportunities.
Somehow,I already feel that I have abandoned a lot of things. Too much.
But alhamdullilah,Ramadhan is coming & I'm thankful for the holy month.
I love Ramadhan. It comes only one time per year & goes,without we realizing.
Indeed.

"No matter how good or bad you think life is,
wake up each day & be thankful for life.
Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive."

How am I doing? Now,that's an understatement. I am still,frankly speaking,struggling.
But am doing my best. I'm trying to take it as the way it is & hopefully,i'll pull through.
It's tough. This blog says it all. But everything happens for a reason,I know it does.
I just have to wait for God to show me the right way & insyallah,I will see the signs.
As stubborn as I am,I don't see the signs. Although,I think I knew I did. I still...
Why is it so hard? I wonder,sometimes.

Knocking off from work in exactly a few minutes time. Yiippee dooo! Monday's done.
I have manage to live through Monday, with a few hiccups. Alhamdullilah. :)
Let's hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. Insyallah yeah?
Till then. Xoxo.

"God knows your feelings.
It's just that you have to open your mouth and heart,
when you wanted Him to listen."

born this way.

Monday, May 2, 2011 6:17 PM

“Every relationship is a journey. And no journey is safe.

The best you can do is find a companion you care to make the trip with.”

hello,dearest blogspot. how have you been doing? well,i suppose? don't think so.

i apologized that i haven't been able to update you for the longest time,eh?

to think, you may think that i'm neglecting you now that i have much responsibilities? NO.

i just can't seem to time into updating you,even if it's just for a bit. i'm lost,somehow.

hope that i'm not too melancholic to be updating now and then,aye. '

how's life has been for all of you? for me,it's stagnant. i don't know what i've been doing.

i thought i can do this on my own but something deep inside of me is bursting. soon.

this blog brings a lot of memories. too much till i can't breathe. but i can't seem to let go.

closing down this blog means that i'm erasing all those memories of you and me.

i'm not willing to do that,just yet. maybe when i'm ready. or maybe,never at all.

“You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales,

that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress,

prince charming who will carry you away to a castle on a hill.

You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes,

and you had complete and utter faith.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming;

they were so close you could taste them but eventually you grow up.

One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.

Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.

But the thing it it`s hard to let go of that fairy take entirely,

because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,

that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.”

fairytale do happened,don't they? look at Kate & Prince William. they're married,after all.

and she was just a commoner,and him,a prince. look at where they are now.

married. and soon,possibly,with kids and it's a complete family. awwww. :)

seeing the royal wedding bring tears to my eyes. knowing that i won't have the fairytale.

that i won't get married & have beautiful kids. i really,really wish for that. :(
sigh. all hope is lost.

i hate justin bieber truly but i liked one of his songs! oh dear god,what has the world turn into?

"That should be me." is playing on repeat. forgive me god,for i have sinned with Bieber.

i need to go for a facial soon. or i risk looking with scars. i miss my old flawless face.

blame on the product that i used two months back that led to my face like this. :(

i have really,really sensitive skin. i can't use anything at all. not anything.

okay. i'll update soon when i have the time,lovelies. xoxo;

“Those who have hurt you in the past,

can not continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment.

Past is past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness.

For your own sake, learn from it, and then let it go.”

December rain.

Sunday, December 26, 2010 7:22 PM

“The best part about being in-love is when you just love a person & you are happy about it.

Even if that person can never be yours, even if you know it can’t last forever.

That’s the true essence of love –

It’s not about winning someone & it’s not about owning a relationship.

It’s about being happy because you know you’ve loved someone,

& it’s about being guiltless because you know,

that you didn’t take away someone from anybody.

You just loved, and loved unselfishly.”

it's been a long,long time since I last blogged here. i really neglected my blogpsot.

i miss ranting and raving about my everyday life,my sad pathetic neurotic life. heh.

sigh. there's so much i want to let out,so much kept feelings. it's really eating me up.

i need my happy pills,i need my friends,i need my crazy cliques. sigh. le sigh.

on a side note,have you people tried samurai burger from macdonalds?! my god!

it's so fucking orgasmic...... i should know!!! that explains,my weight gain. SIGH.

just after i have lost so much weight,i have to gain it back all over again. wasted effort. :(

well, i have to really stop eating and maintain the weight that i've achieved before this.

i need to! i have to discipline myself!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

“Maybe true love is a decision.

You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody.

To give to somebody. Without worrying wether theyll give anything back.

Or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one.

Maybe love isnt something that happens to you.

Maybe its something you have to choose.”

there's so much about my life i would like to rave on about but parts of it,only.

nobody tell the whole world their life story for them to read and judge. no, no sane human.

and that's what you get, a broken,demented & damaged girl. like myself now.

i don't know where i'm heading. it's going to be 2011 soon. goodbye,2010.

dear 2010,you have been one hell of a roller coaster ride. i hope to leave you with peace.

and hoping that 2011 will be a better and more happier one. insyallah.

there's so much in 2010 i would like to change,so much i want to alter. but that's life.

what's past is past,you can do nothing about it. you just have to go with it.

and just hope that you'll learn from it & never repeat it. time flies,huh? how fast it goes.

with just a blink of an eye,we are welcoming 2011. it just seemed like yesterday it was 2010.

see how time past by you in a glimpse of an eye & then you can never get it back?

that's how it goes. I miss my ~52. :(

“There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving,

no matter how hard they try.

I wouldn’t expect you to understand that or even believe it,

but trust me, there are some loves that don’t go away.

And maybe that makes them crazy,

but we all should be lucky enough,

to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity,

someone who never lets go, someone who cherishes you forever.”

Love the way you are.

Saturday, August 14, 2010 1:41 PM

"Give people chances.

And if they mess up, just remember,

that everyone makes mistakes and nobody’s perfect.

Think to yourself that this might be your last day to take a chance and live."

It's been a long time since I dropped by here and here I am,again. For the record.

Well,it's the fasting month. Ramadhan is here again,alhamdullilah. The holy month.

it's the month where i felt blessed and that the month that i can atone to all my sins.

not that you can't atone to all your sins for the any other month,is the month,

where you feel closer to HIM. where with your heart and soul,you pray to HIM.

It's the 4th day of Ramadhan and alhamdullilah,so far,it has been good. I have been fasting.

I haven't had the chance to terawih just yet,though. But maybe today or Monday. Insyallah.

I don't have the strength to brace through the crowds at Geylang this year,it seems.
well,i don't know. we'll see how it goes. maybe not or maybe yeah. who knows right?

i want the Ramadhan for the whole year,if only it will. But sadly,it's only for a month.

so we'll just have to embrace this holy month before it goes past by fast.

"Love is such a strong word.

When we were just little kids,

we always thought that love was about hugs, kisses and happiness.

But as we grow older,

we’ve also come to realise that love isn’t just about happiness;

it’s also about rejections,

tears and riding through the pain the each heartache brings."

it's the time of the month again. 14th. Happy 49th,dearest you.

for all the times you stood by me,thank you. i owe you that,with all my love.

i know at some point times of our relationship,we may encounter the hurdles of it.

but coming to 4 years of being with you,i learnt. i grew stronger and wiser and deemed,

to not repeat the mistakes. i know that i just want to be with you for all my life.

i love you,very much.

"Don’t waste time lingering over all that you could have,

should have and would have done.

Don’t spend your days thinking of how much better you could do;

don’t long for something that has been and always will be out of your reach.

Just live the days as they come.

Wake up every morning and smile at the wonderful day that awaits.

And when opportunity comes knocking on your door, don’t ignore it.

Don’t run away. Pull yourself together, and open the door. Let love in."

stay.

Monday, June 28, 2010 10:34 PM

i've made a lot of mistakes,

but the worst one was thinking that the person,

who hurt me the most would never hurt me again.

So,well. I've decided to update again! So wow wee! woooo. I think I'm in the mood.

well. i haven't been updating using capital letters,only small letters and such throughout.

i think it depends on my mood and usually,it's my lazy lazy mood. so,here i am. heh.

to talk about my trip all around malaysia! one word,AWESOME! It was so loved! :D

well,for now,i am doing exceptionally alright,to say the least. at least i'm fine.. for the time being.

still jobless,that is the downside of having the life right now. but that would soon change.

i can not forever be jobless and plus,puasa is coming soon. and so is HARI RAYA! -_-

there aren't very many people in this world who can give you butterflies;

so when you find someone who can never let them go.

so... pictures. well,some of them. the rest are in facebook! feast your eyes. :)

i totally fell in love with the sunsets,sunrises and the stars at night! It was totally extraordinary!

i experienced the whole sky filed with stars,it's like you can't turn off the light!!!

i was so happy and elated and i slept with a big wide smile etched on my face. i was truly blissed.

i love nature and i love god's nature to all of us.. even the creatures.. speaking of which.. heh.

i dived. i snorkeled. it was truly amazing! THE SHARKS! THE STING RAYS! THE TURTLES!

it was the most astounding thing i have ever seen in my whole entire 21 years of living!!

i was flabbergasted! i cried while in the waters?! can you believe that?! it's one of my passion!

i want to be a marine biologist and save animals and to be somewhere near animals... heh.

something,i can never want to do more than anything else. i would love to do that. i love it.

I think the best time to say that you already found the right one,

is when you stop looking for more.

the next holiday,would hopefully to USA,in December if time and money permits that is.

my cousin's getting married and it's winter and hopefully,SNOW! SNOW! MY DREAM! :D

but,i don't know. i need to save up for the flights and well,the flight mostly! hahahaha.

it's not impossible and i will want to reach USA! I DON'T FREAKING CARE THE MONEY!

i have,exactly,4 and a half months to save for the trip... GO ME! xoxo.

The confusion and the fear.

That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better,

and that something is worth fighting for.