& of all the lies.
Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:41 AM
I'm not pushing you away.
I am holding on for dear life,
but i need you to need me back.
Mentally tortured & physically unfit.
I have been gorging myself with unhealthy foods.
& rather,have been mentally torturing myself.
I let you to define the meaning of it,yourself..
It's pouring heavily outside.
I've not catch a wink since last night.
All i did was sit & stare at the razor blade, i held in my hands.
I was asking myself,"Do you have to do this again?"
Somehow,i thought to myself.
Years ago,when i did pop 12 panadols all at one shot,
I was down with foolishness.
But,do i want to go through that again?
I don't want to put my loved ones through a hard phase.
No,not again. And so,i did what i did.
& what is that? Cried myself silly.
At this hardest point of your life,
all we want is someone close by..
But,it seems that they are so far away.
She sits in her corner & cries herself to sleep.
Wrapped up in the promises,
that no one seems to keep.
She no longer cries, no more tears to wash away.
Just the diaries of empty pages, feelings gone astray.
& you,
I'm sorry for the things that I've done.
& things that haven't occur.
I know i have always wronged you & such.
But,this heart never stops beating for you.
Just so you know.
ILY.
withhh loveee;
EFF.
I'm not pushing you away.
