try harder..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 11:06 PM
It's been years,but I still hope that even though
life may not be giving you what exactly you want,
you're learning to like what you have.
and so,my wednesday went initially fine except for one thing!
marks and spencer were having their grand opening at the atrium level 1.
and boy,it was very grand! a buffet at noon plus a fashion show in the evening..
all the beautiful,skinny and perfect models were all strolling in the bookstore.
god,they were gorgeous! AND DAMN SKINNY!!! DAMN DAMN SKINNY!!! ))):
by seeing them and looking at my spare parts,i feel so so so down.
sigh. i wonder when's my turn to be super skinny with fucking thin thighs!
even though the boy keep saying,that i am perfect as it is. but still,you know!!!
and by seeing them,i have a strong feeling that i wanna be anorexic. or even bulimic!
or just simply don't eat rice or anything. just salad,salad & salad! ya ah,macam paham.
and just maybe,exercise myself to death and till exhaustion! sigh! don't mind me,i'm just down.
Maybe that's what happens;
you fall in love to fall apart,
& yet you'll always want to do it again.
the boy fetched me from work today bringing with him,my favourite smile.
he's being his sweet ever mood today and i cannot stop myself from feeling guilty.
no,not being unfaithful or whatever.. just you know,memories can come swinging by.
and just this incident where i looked at his face just now and cannot fight those tears.
he looked and me and then,kissed my forehead and those tears just flow. sigh.
i wonder if it's the right thing,just yet. i need a smoke break,now!
what's worse...
not getting everything you wished for,
or getting it and finding out it's not enough?
lovee;
efff.
It's been years,but I still hope that even though
