that longing.
Thursday, February 12, 2009 11:23 PM
sometimes things seem all wrong when you don't have a reason to wake up,
in the morning, or go to bed late at night. sometimes, life writes a fairytale;
he's your reason to get up in the morning and your reason,
to go to bed at night.
i am feeling low,i have no energy left to type this,but am trying.
because my insides are like squeezing into me,the pain.
i tried so hard to let it all out with no avail. i still failed.
i still feel like a goddamn loser,i still feel so unbeautiful.
i still feel the worst of myself.
i cried. i yelled. i shouted. to myself. but,who only hears?
only my very own reflection staring back at me with teary eyes.
with smudge mascara,with everything in a mess.
where do i go,from here? who do i turn to now? help?
if a guy can hurt you,
then he matters a lot more than you think.
i wish i could be more optimistic with seeing life.
people say,"you can,just try." what if trying is not good enough?
over the years,i tried. i failed and i failed.
how to,i asked myself over and over again,throughout the years..
believe,they say. and believe shall i,not?
faith is something i don't have. believe is something i never believed.
but with a little bit of hope,a little bit of love,"you can do it",she says.
i am trying,still trying. and hoping,with a little bit of help.
because help,comes in many many many ways..
you never stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them.
and when they finally come back to you,
it's as if they never left and nothing's changed.
sometimes things seem all wrong when you don't have a reason to wake up, 
