the agony of life.
Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:50 PM
you can't love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime.
it's too hard and it hurts too much when it ends.
the first boy is always the hardest to get over.
that's just the way the world works.
and before i end my thursday,it's time to start updating about today.
well.. not so much since i had to go to the dentist!!! -___-
my first time,after 7 long years.. my goodness! good god!
boy,was i nervous because my tooth was hurting & it has been,
affecting my sleep for 2 days... and finally,it has been plucked out!
NOW,I AM OFFICIALLY BOGEE AH! goddamn it. )):
sigh,sigh. i randomly asked the doctor how much would my teeth cost,
if i want to put on braces ah.. a whooping $3500-$3800... holy mack!
he said,"not much.." well,not much for him since he earns goddamn a lot..
but for me,it's like *fainting* all over again for my "husbands".. heh!
sigh. i will just have to wait for the world to rain money...
it's hard to watch someone you love change before your eyes,
and know you can't do anything about it.
and it's heartbreaking to remember the way they once were.
and everybody know it's hard to get over someone,your first love..
even if it wasn't your first love,maybe the love of your life..
but,one's gotta move on. well,it's easier said that done,you may say..
yes,you may hurled words,accused me of just words,when you know,
i have a boy who loves me & bla bla bla bla.. but girl,you gotta see..
the way a guy treats you,how he hurts you... you still wanna think of him?
yes,you may be with him for 3,4 or even 5 years.. only god knows.
no one asked you to move on now,or even get a boyfriend...
our advice is simply,just move on & accept it as it is already.
not mopping around,refusing to hang out with your friends & whatnots..
yes,you can mop around.. well,maybe for the 2 to 4 weeks or so..
but after that,if you still hang on to a hope that's lost,i'm sorry girl..
i may have to burst your bubble,like really. he'll never come back.
i may be in denial sometimes,yes. i have gone through what you have.
hell,even lots of times. again & again,by different guys..
yes,i used to mop around,scream why is this happening to me..
but sooner or later,i realized that it's all time-consuming.
a waste of my life,a waste of my time.
nobody said you can't think of him,you can. just not always..
yes,there's flashbacks,there's the times where you reminisced happier times..
but come on,not until you turned your back to your friend,
sit in front of the computer to look at pictures of him & "her"
it's all heartbreaking,makes your spirit lower as it already is,girl.
if you say you have try,try again. if you have tried,try harder..
it's all in you. if you can't help yourself,no one else can.
you will live in your own shadows..
it's never easy getting over someone but it's not impossible.
i have lots of friends,actually who have the same situation.. not only you.
friends who have been with the partner for even more than 4 years?
or some,there's even more than 7 years.. and look where they are now?
still strong,still moving on. girl,he's still alive & you can still call him..
but one of my friends,she lost her partner of 7 years to an accident.
of which,she never get a chance to say goodbye properly.
she felt lost,hell,for a couple of years actually.. but she brought herself up.
and she's happily living her life to the fullest right now.
no one ever said it's gonna be easy..... but you can try.
i'm not discriminating you,or even want to shame you here..
but we,as your friends care about you,want you to be happy again.
don't ever,ever let a guy bring you down. cos,only you yourself can.
it's never easy,but it's never impossible. you can try.
it's all up to you,now. and only you,can save yourself.
i hope you will realized it one day,girl.
because he has been a major part of your life of course you'll miss him.
it's perfectly normal. it's like getting your tooth pulled out.
after the dentist pulls it out you're relieved.
but how many times does your tongue,
run itself over the spot where it used to be?
probably countless times a day.
just because it wasn't hurting you doesn't mean you didn't notice it.
it leaves a gap and sometimes you find yourself missing it terribly.
it's going to take a while, but it takes time.
should you have kept the tooth?
no, because it was causing you pain.
pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it's gonna hurt.
you can't love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime. 
