another mountain.
Friday, December 25, 2009 11:42 AM
There was a time where I stayed up til 1 or 2 to figure out,
the reason why I fell in love with you I used to have a grip on everything,
now what I know is all that's left of me and what I can't let go.
this christmas morning,all i am feeling is grieve,which i don't quite get it.
i mean,it's christmas,it's suppose to be my favorite holiday and such,
but when i woke up to the sun shining through my bedroom window,
all i want is to curl up in that old-fashioned way of crying and cry.
this whole thing i'm feeling,is nothing new,life's funny like that...
but then,dear santa,couldn't you at least plaster a smile across my face today?
did i asked you for too much? all i want is my dear old insane self back.. )):
i'm losing grip and i can't figure out what's happening to me,i don't.
but if dear god,if you're here hearing this,help me through this. i need it.
this thing i'm going through,it's not simple and it's not just a flicker of fear,
it's something huge and it's ravishing my thoughts,playing with my soul.
Worry about your character not your reputation,
because your character is who you really are,
and your reputation is simply what others think of you.
somehow,i wish i was in the states where it was apparently,snowing now...
maybe,with all that snow,i could just stroll down central park and perhaps,
decipher what's beclouding my mind and dampen my spirits,my inconstancy.
i'm trying to perceive this subsistence of this matter that has to go away..
truly,i am going to die of exhaustion,due to crying and collapsing so much.
i wish i could conjecture all of this discernment & just be normal again. =/
it involves my future,my whole life,down the road,from here on.
i couldn't go on,running away,keep preventing people i love,away from me.
the more i went on like this,the more i'll be disintegrated and once it gets,
overwhelmed,i certainly won't know what will actually happen to me...
all i need now,is possibly,a shot of miracle. something to keep me up.
Sometimes you have to give up on people.
Everyone that is in your journey is meant to be in your journey,
but not everyone is meant to stay there.
There was a time where I stayed up til 1 or 2 to figure out,
