never there.
Monday, September 8, 2008 11:24 PM
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that,
they always see the past better than it was,
the present worse than it is,
and the future less resolved than it will be.
it's a rainy monday night to end it all. yes,monday's gonna be gone.
it's tuesday,tomorrow. the rain dampens my spirit,alot.
but since it's the fasting month,it's rahmat. syukur alhamdullilah.
still,i cannot help feeling low and blue just like the weather..
low,low,low,low. sighhhh.
and i'm wondering if i'm gonna toss & turn again,tonight.
depriving of sleep is so not cool. i hate those bloody eyebags.
the nightmares are back haunting me again. it's been quite some time.
but dreaming of edward cullen has perk up my spirits,a little.
i think i'm going insane. dreaming edward cullen really exists.
it's like i'm talking to him in fantasy. not good,not good eff.
The aim of life is to live,
and to live means to be aware,
joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.
my reality "jacob black" saved my soul and life.
you,thank you for comforting me when he's not there..
thank you for sacrificing your own life for me.
thank you for doing what you're doing even if it's wrong.
i know you may feel that you're a substitute when he's not there.
but truth is,you're never an option. always have been a need.
except that i don't need you like how i need him....
and now,i'm wondering about my feelings. feeling that i'm isabella swan.
sigh. oh god,snap back to reality eff!
tuesday tomorrow. i'm gonna get a long rest.
i'm thinking of switching off my phone till dawn. we'll see.
my heart's not at the right place,now. hope it will come back.
i'm feeling so lousy. so damn bloody lousy. thanks eh!
But the struggles make you stronger,
and the changes make you wise,
and happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.
lovee;
efff.
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that, 
